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ON THE NEGATIVE AND "DARK SIDE" OF STYLE

Updated: Feb 4

Q. Why do individuals display the negative characteristics described in your books, instrument and Extenda-charts?


A. Displaying negative (L. negare=deny) characteristics is a choice--the choice to deny expression of their CS/AS/AR/CR qualities in positive, life-affirming, productive and harmless ways. They refuse to develop their endowments and contribute constructively. Negative characteristics are symptomatic of a childish person who defies and distorts his/her own nature, ignores signals and feedback, and consistently acts selfishly.


Q. Why are negative characteristics included in the descriptors?


A. They are included to: (1) Prompt Self-analysis and increase Self-knowledge, (2) promote awareness of ways that individual attitudes/behaviors nullify positive action and cause self sabotage of real growth and development, and (3) alert individuals to possible weaknesses and vulnerabilities that make them easy prey for tricksters, temptors, panacea peddlers, dogmatic leaders and promoters of inappropriate products and hostile conditions.


Q. As a dominant CR, I object to being identified as unscrupulous. Why is that listed as a negative aspect?


A. My research of dominant CRs revealed that the lack of scruples is a common trait of many who show a negative-orientation.


Q. Can I change from being negative to positive in my dominant point orientation?


A. Yes. Negatively-oriented persons can move toward positive behaviors. This change occurs when: (1) the negativity no longer pays-off, (2) the psychosomatic pains become too great and the palliative measures no longer work, (3) the persons are ready, willing and able to accept the appropriate responsibility and accountability necessary to turn themselves and their relationships around and (4) the persons are willing to make proper reparations and restitution for their hurtful effects. Numbers 3 and 4 are life-affirming acts but are not for the faint-of-heart.


Q. What can colleagues, friends and family do to help a negatively-oriented person become positive?


A. There is no simple solution for assisting the negative person. Aid depends upon his/her individual problems, conditions and circumstances. My general advice is: (1) be certain of your own motives as a care giver, (2) be sure of his/her commitment, (3) ponder the meaning of the Serenity Prayer, (4) be harmless in your attitudes and offerings, and (5) remember that the choice is his/hers alone. The decision and subsequent action must be freely made to be real, meaningful and sustained.


Q. What are characteristics of people who show the "dark side" of style?


A. Those who demonstrate the "dark side" push negativity to the extreme. They operate in a whole different zone--one of little or no Light. They deny the Light (Spirit, God) and all the associated accountability, responsibility, conscience, remorse and repayment for harm.

Some have been known to invoke the name of God and talk about Light, brotherhood, compassion and love. But such talk is false. It is designed to: (1) seduce naive, shallow, indiscriminate and unsuspecting people into serving them and their goals, and (2) attract uncritical admirers who will feed their desire for flattery and provide for their material well-being. Dark-siders live by their own ever changing, self-serving rules. In fact, they are "outlaws" who feel above both man-made civil laws and God's Laws of Nature.


Q. Can people change from dark to light?


A. They can, but they won't. They see no reason to change. They are getting what they want. Discomforts are rationalized or "medicated" away. And there is no acknowledgement of accountability, personal responsibility and fault. Change is not an option with no sense of conscience and no remorse.


Q. What can an outsider do to help a dark-sided person?


A. Nothing! Assistance is useless and potentially harmful to your health. Walk or run away from the relationship before they see your caring efforts as signs of weakness and, in their beguiling ways, consume you. Consider them "psychic vampires" who drain you of life. Beware. They extinguish bearers of light!


Q. Why do people choose the negative and dark?


A. Greed and vanity! All other reasons pale in comparison.


#lifestyle #decisionmaking

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